Monday, 26 September 2011

It's a Monday...

     And a new week has begun once again, well, technically it started yesterday, but I mean my work week.  Monday's in this house are fairly relaxed.  I never plan anything major for the day.  Just our schoolwork and chores if  I can help it.  Yesterday was wonderful, but always painful to wake sleeping children.  We need to leave the house by 9:15 to make it to church on time.  Which means eating for sure by 8:30, which means being bathed, dressed, and ready by 8:30, which means waking children early enough so they will be hungary enough to eat a proper breakfast.  I find I'm always going backwards on these mornings.  But with the help of my man we always seem to get it together, unfortunatly not always with a smile.  Thankfully, the 40 minute drive to church gives one time to 'right' things.

     We had a new couple over for the evening yesterday, or new to us anyway.  We had a great evening.  Their kids are all older, yet they took off with ours and seemed to have a good time.  I always enjoy getting to know new people.  There are no pre-conceived ideas on what they may be like.  I love family and good life-long friends.  But sometimes they just know too much, or there's alot of water under a few bridges.  Either way, friends are a blessing and I find the older I get the less I cling to those I've always known.  For me that's a good thing since I've never handled change.  Over the past year we have had to really examine where we stand on issues like faith, church, family, personal choices.  We have been close many time to just calling it quits and moving on (not with each other or the Lord mind you). 

     God hasn't given us the go-ahead though, so we are still here and waiting for Him to show us what to do.  One of the biggest blessings has been that 'my family' has grown closer.  Although my parents and siblings make up my extended family, they are not my core family.  An important break for every couple to make.  I used to thrive on going back to my parents home and seeing all my old friends and siblings.   Now I am fairly content to stay home and manage the gong show.  My siblings and parents are all fairly spread out so I don't see them often, and although we do keep in contact regularly, I've learned that I can survive quite well without them.  I love the times we get together but I would not appreciate them as much if we were next door neighbours.

     I was having coffee with a good friend the other day.  We were both lamenting the fact that our families have become increasingly complicated lately.  And we aren't the only ones either.  I can name a few more good friends whose families seem to be falling apart.  I know of course that nothing has happened overnight, but has it taken me 33 years to figure it out, or has God decided that now I'm ready for a new challenge?  Right now divorce, homosexuality, sexual abuse, alcoholism, and anorexia are the issues.  It's a plate heavy with the consequences of sin.  Apparantly we have learned nothing from the Israelites own stupidity because we are doing the same things over and over.  I do include myself in there as well.  Lately I have taken my eyes off of the Lord and directed them to my own ideas and likes.  I have not stayed true to the path He has set before me and I have paid a price.  Unfortunatly, sin never only affects the doer.  There are many innocents affected along the way.  In my case, my children and husband have seen a grumply, impatient, woman and they don't know why.  God has still been faithful though.  He has been gently calling me....I can hear it through a message, a passage of Scripture...He's calling me back to Him.  And if there's is any wisdom in me at all I will heed Him BEFORE He uses something stronger than a gentle whisper.  How thankful I am for His mercy....I am in dire need of it.

Susie

Tuesday, 20 September 2011

Let's see where this goes...

Who am I?

    - Child of God
    - Wife of the best blessing God ever gave me
    - Mother to 4 strange, odd, beautiful children

These 3 things make up the mostly normal in my life.  Oh and the half crazy part, well, you'll find that out for yourself ;)   I really have been debating whether or not to even start a blog.  In my humble opinion (joke) blogs really can inspire, encourage and make you think twice.  They can also bring about severe depression and anger if you read the wrong ones.  And of course, they can be a HUGE time waster.  That being said, the pros still outweigh the cons for me.

See I live in the bush.  I'm a little isolated.  I never see traffic drive by.  I need to purposfully go out and look for a neighbour.  My world has become a spruce-tree laden bubble.  And usually I'm okay with that.  I'm learning to love my little world.  As we raise our children we have but a few short years really so why not make our own private world where we are free to raise them as the Lord leads us.  However, I do crave social contact from time to time, so I do emerge from my cocoon periodically, have a great time, and then happily go home to peace and quiet, well, after the kids are sleeping :)

If you knew me years ago you would be laughing right now.  I'm sure my 3 sisters are.  They have seen me morphe into someone very different from years past, but, from what they tell me it's not all bad! 

So, why start blogging...well, as an outlet for me really.  I never would have called myself a writer, but when I think back on life I've often written out my thoughts, sometimes letter form, a diary, or my favorite, in song.  Putting words down and then re-reading to see if what was written even makes sense, often clears the fog in my head.  Or it's so embarresing that I've quickly ripped it up and thrown it in the garbage!  I suppose here I'll just press delete!

Welcome to my world.  Really, I could paint outrageous lies about myself.  Y'know, write that I'm 5'6, 120lbs, have all the patience in the world and that you will only ever see my with make-up on.  But then the inevitable would happen.  A friend or family member would read this, be compelled to confront me, and then I would have to make a full-out confession about the secret life I've been living.  Oh, and it would be breaking the 9th commandment :)  I hope you will see me and be encouraged by the work the Lord is doing, be warned from my mistakes, and maybe even learn from my trials.  Cause really, if we were as open and honest as we should be, Churches these days would look A LOT different.

With that I will go feed my poor starving children, one of whom was threatening to hide in the dishwasher because her brother found all her other hiding places!

Susie